


Even If It Takes All Night

by driftingashes



Series: Quarantine Fics Because I Have No Inspiration [32]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Female Deceit Sanders, Hallucinations, Hopeful Ending, Kid Morality | Patton Sanders, M/M, You Choose Whether To Read This As Romantic or Platonic Analogical
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:40:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28059336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/driftingashes/pseuds/driftingashes
Summary: This was actually a whumptober prompt for 2019 that has been sitting untouched in a Google Drive folder since October 22nd, 2019. Thought it was time to post it. Please keep in mind that 1) my writing has changed since then. A lot. And 2) I changed this to fit my current writing style a little better, so it's kind of awkward in places. Bear with me, please.~Ash
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: Quarantine Fics Because I Have No Inspiration [32]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2021543
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually a whumptober prompt for 2019 that has been sitting untouched in a Google Drive folder since October 22nd, 2019. Thought it was time to post it. Please keep in mind that 1) my writing has changed since then. A lot. And 2) I changed this to fit my current writing style a little better, so it's kind of awkward in places. Bear with me, please.
> 
> ~Ash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so everyone knows, this is NOT an accurate representation of psychotic depression. It is also not meant to offend people who suffer from it, not be a source of information on the condition. I didn't think about how it would come across when I originally wrote this (I just had no idea how to work in the hallucinations without just saying 'yeah Virgil just kind of hallucinated sometimes but he's chill' and I really hope this doesn't come out as rude to anyone!) and I'm still blanking on how to go about re-writing it in a less offensive manner.
> 
> ~Ash

“Logan? Can...can we talk? Please?”

Logan glanced up from his book in time to see Virgil pad silently into the room, eyes downcast and fingers trembling where they were hooked into his sweater. “Of course. Is something wrong? You appear uncharacteristically upset.”

“No...nothing’s wrong. I just...I talked to my doctor, like you suggested....”

“And? Their diagnosis?”

Virgil shuffled his feet nervously. “I have something called psychotic depression? And, um...apparently that’s the reason for the hallucinations. It’s why the doctor from Sanform said that schizophrenia was a possibility.”

Logan paused, setting his book aside. “...I see.”

“And you’re not mad?” Virgil asked.

Logan snorted softly, and Virgil immediately felt stupid for asking. “No, of course not, why would I be?”

“I don’t know. Just...I thought you would be...mad at me for not trying to go to a doctor earlier. You tried to get me to go, and I never listened.”

“I’m not mad, Virgil.”

“Oh." He paused. "Thank you.”

“Of course.”

“Will you stay with me? Please?”

Logan sighed, reaching for Virgil, pausing just shy of touching him. “I can’t promise anything, you know that, Virgil.”

“Please, Logan?” Logan broke. He couldn’t resist Virgil’s pleading, child-like gaze.

“I’ll help you chase away your nightmares, Virgil. Even if it takes all night. But I cannot guarantee that I will be here when the sun rises.”

“I know.” Virgil shrugged.

“Maybe I’ll finally be able to leave you in peace, if you start some sort of medication and get the help you deserve. You can get through this, Virgil. You’re quite resilient.”

“I guess I’ll have to take your word for it. But...I don’t want you to go.”

“I know. But I must. Such is the way of things.”

“It still hurts.”

Logan smiled gently, reaching for him. “I’ll always be with you, Virgil. Even if you won’t be able to see me anymore.”

Virgil sniffled, wrapping his arms around Logan, huddling into the embrace. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you as well, Virgil.”

Logan was gone by the time Virgil woke up to go to work, the echo of his arms around him like fire on his cold skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I daydream intensely enough that I can actually feel what is happening, including if people interact with me, and have physically reacted before (which usually jerks me out of it if it gets intense enough) so this is partially me drawing on my experiences with that. Although Virgil's are hallucinations, not daydreams, and he has a form of depression and I just have an over-active imagination, lol.
> 
> ~Ash


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place approximately two years after chapter one.

Virgil glanced across the street, smiling as he saw a child peer into a store window, pointing at a toy in the storefront’s display case. He froze when he saw a familiar face looking back, and he stopped dead in the middle of the sidewalk. “Logan?” The man across the street grinned widely, as if he’d heard him, and nodded ever so slightly.

Virgil was (self admittingly) not the best at reading lips, but he could  _ hear _ Logan’s cool, calm voice in his head, like he was right there next to him. “I’m here to say goodbye. You don't need me anymore."

"Why?" he asked, his voice going high and pleading.

"I told you...such is the way of things." He gestured at the child looking in the store window, taking a step back up onto the sidewalk.  A bus sped in between them, and by the time he could see the opposite sidewalk again, Logan was gone, leaving the child and his mother standing in front of the store, the woman digging through her purse as the child bounced up and down excitedly.

Virgil smiled at the boy, who waved and returned his attention to the woman, still rifling through her bag. The more Virgil watched, the more and more striking the resemblance was. The boy had Logan’s dark curly hair, unruly bangs, dark eyes, and curious expression, almost like he was searching for the secrets of the universe in everything around him. Even his glasses were the same, with bulky frames and thick lenses that his eyes blinked owlishly through.

Virgil didn’t even remember crossing the street. He bent down and picked up the small tube of lipstick that had fallen from the woman's purse, holding it out to her. “Ma’am? You dropped this.”

The woman turned, smiling at him. “Thank you, young man. What’s your name?”

“Uh...Virgil.”

“Virgil. Oh, what a beautiful name. I’m Delilah, and this is my son, Patton.”

“I’m seven,” Patton chirped, holding up six fingers before hurriedly correcting himself with a sheepish grin.

Virgil and Delilah edged up against the wall of the store, exchanging casual conversation, until Virgil looked up with a start when he noticed the sun going down.

“Oh, goodness, I’ve ke p t you for so long. I’m so sorry,” Delilah fretted.

“It’s fine, I don’t mind,” Virgil reassured her. “Well...Delilah, Patton. Lovely meeting you. I have to go now.”

Delilah smiled shyly. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but would you...like to go for coffee sometime?” she asked. "It's been a long time since I've had such a nice conversation with someone."

“That...sounds nice.”

Delilah smiled. They swapped phones, typed in their numbers, and just as quietly handed them back. "Text me when you're free?" Delilah asked.

“I will.”

Virgil edged around her and, waving at Patton, moved down the sidewalk. “Goodbye, Logan,” he whispered. He pulled his hood up, the last rays of the sun blazing and illuminating the ever so faint shadow of a second person beside him on the sidewalk.

Smiling knowingly, Virgil turned away and kept walking, head down and spirits high.

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo, please point out mistakes if you see them!! I didn't really looked this over so much as I rapidly made a few changed, yeeted it into Ao3, and posted without a backward glance. Thanks!!
> 
> ~Ash


End file.
